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 [20 Oct 2005|07:22pm]
Sup homies?!


I got bored...so sue me
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 [19 Jun 2005|12:45pm]
I am taking all of you guys off my list. I am trying to decide if I am deleting the whole account or not...but its a 90% chance that I will.

So if you want to add me on Xyourxdownfallx then thats cool, but this one is done with

<3 Sara
//Prove your love

 [12 Jun 2005|12:11pm]
Delete bleedtobelieve if you have that on your friends list
Delete zoloftqueen from your friends list
If you want my new journal (friends/open) add xyourxdownfallx
1 comment//Prove your love

 [08 Jun 2005|12:23pm]
Drawing 1
Project 1

- You will create a drawing that is composed of a long (and seemingly impossible) list of objects. Your goal is to compose a drawing that includes each element on the list--not as bits and pieces, but as an integrated, structured whole. This will force you to use your imagination and to be creative with techniques such as overlapping and shifting scale.

Remember to incorporate a sense of space--are all of your objects sitting in the foreground? though your drawing may be created entirely from imagination and as a result, somewhat whimsical, do not use cartoon or "manga" stylizations. Try to draw as acurately as possible.

3 buildings
2 roads
1 car
4 trees
1 cat
4 telephone wires and poles
1 open window (see into it)
1 path
2 birds
1 worm
1 clothesline
1 t.v antennae
3 clouds
1 hill
1 telephone booth
1 fence
1 small crowd of people
2 children
1 table
1 bottle

-Your drawing will measure atleast 17" x 23" (mine is 18" X 24"). Use charcoal pencils to create a symetrical drawn format on white drawing paper. Your drawing should display a sense of line and value (shading) established only through hatching or cross hatching.

Someone save me please!! lol
Oh I got a call from Old navy and they want to set up an appointment with me for an interview...and so does BBandT wooohooo I rock!
I rather work at BBandT though cause I would get benifits for working 20 hours...not to mention they would probably pay much more than Old Navy.
I really thought I fucked up on the teller test...when they asked me questions like what is (I think) 86 percent of 250...and I couldn't use a calculator...yeah I totally thought I bombed it. But obviously I didn't because they called...or they are deperate...lol that could also be it too!
Come to think of it...One of my refrences use to work for management at that Old Navy X-P. Oh I am special yes I am!

Yeah yeah I am a dork...
3 comments//Prove your love

 [06 Jun 2005|02:42pm]
So while I am finishing my sketchbook projects this is the super weird mix of music I have on Windows media...lol

A favor house atlantic- Coheed and Cambria
Carousel- Linkin Park
I Like It (Tom Mangan Remix)-Narcotic Thrust
My Everything- Goldfinger
Maybe Memories- The Used
La Tortoura- Shakira
On The way down (acoustic)- Ryan Cabrera
I used to love you- John Legend
I'm Not Ok- My Chemical Romance
And one- Linkin Park
The walking dead- DJ Z and Chester
Its goin down- The executioners
You- Jimmy Eat World
The middle (acoustic)- Jimmy Eat World

haha its a very interesting mix to me..
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 [31 May 2005|09:20pm]

I didn't get the job

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 [30 May 2005|01:59pm]
I want Tabitha's secret cd!!! I want it want it want it! I know its pretty low quality...but I would love to have that CD ha...but im not willing to spend anymore from my dwindleing account :-P

My dad is still a fucktard and I wont be speaking to him for a good while...he can shove his "no money" up his ass cause it is an out right lie.

Way to go for not actually caring for your daughter...
Looks like I will be borrowing from the bank this up comming semester *sigh* That means I should probably go set up an appointment with the people at the bank in the next couple of days to figure it all out :-/

I have not had my eyes checked in about 2 years...and the eye doctor was very understanding of my situation before so he gave us another year to come up with money...and gave me refills for contacts...but now its running out. I have one more month of contacts I can get...then nada! And dad wont pay...

Thats funny...supposively he is into antiques now...and he can't even pay for his daughter's fuckin eye appointment. The asshole...

You know what...I could care less about the civil suit that is on him now..because I don't feel sorry for him one fuckin bit.

So...yeah I sound heartless but I can't believe the shit he is putting us through
//Prove your love

 [24 May 2005|09:09pm]
I was watching the video for La Tortura (cause if you know me, you know I am obsessed with Shakira's music...except laundry service...that blew big time) and I have one question...WHY DOES SHAKIRA HAVE TO HUMP EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE?! The song has nothing to do with humping or being covered in black ink...just a thought...if you have an answer please tell me!


No pido que todos los días sean de sol
No pido que todos los viernes sean de fiesta
Tan poco te pido que vuelvas rogando perdón
Si lloras con los ojos secos
Y hablando de ella

Ay amor me duele tanto
Me duele tanto
Que te fueras sin decir a donde
Ay amor, Fue una tortura perderte

Yo se que no he sido un santo
Pero lo puedo arreglar amor.

No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.

Solo de errores se aprende
Y hoy se que es tuyo mi Corazón.

Mejor te guardas todo eso
a otro perro con ese hueso
y nos decimos adiós

No puedo pedir que el invierno perdone a un rosal
No puedo pedir a los olmos que entreguen peras
No puedo pedirle lo eterno a un simple mortal
Y andar arrojando a los cerdos miles de perlas.

Ay amor me duele tanto
Me duele tanto
Que no creas mas en mis promesas
Ay amor es una tortura perderte

Yo se que no he sido un santo
Y es que no estoy hecho de cartón

No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.

Solo de errores se aprende
Y hoy se que es tuyo mi Corazón.

Mejor te guardas todo eso
A otro perro con ese hueso
Y nos decimos adiós

No te bajes, no te bajes
Oye negrita mira, no te rajes
De Lunes a Viernes tienes mi amor
Déjame el Sábado a mi que es mejor
Oye mi negra no me castigues mas
Porque allá afuera sin ti no tengo paz
Yo solo soy un hombre arrepentido
Soy como el ave que vuelve a su nido

Yo se que no he sido un santo
Y es que no estoy hecho de cartón

No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.

Solo de errores se aprende
Y hoy se que es tuyo mi Corazón.

Mejor te guardas todo eso a otro perro con ese hueso y nos decimos adiós.


Ay ay ay
Ay, todo lo que he hecho por ti
Fue una tortura perderte
Me duele tanto que sea así
Sigue llorando perdón
Yo… yo no voy
A llorar por ti
//Prove your love

 [23 May 2005|06:19pm]
Bitches, I may be getting a new job with higher pay! what now huh?!

I am that awesome :-D
3 comments//Prove your love

 [22 May 2005|11:29am]
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<tr> <div align="center"> <td class="meta"> </td> <td class="meta" <font face="tahoma" size=1><b>&nbsp;My&nbsp; mood</b></td> <td class="meta" align="center">&nbsp;.&nbsp;.&nbsp.&nbsp; </td> <td class="meta">&nbsp angry/sick</td> <td class="meta"></td> </tr>

Aeropostale can go kiss my ass.

I am sick.
I am coughing-about to fall on the ground-gasping for air-sneezing-dazed and confused-downright SICK.
So what do you do when you have to go to work and you feel like shit?
You call in sick, thats what you do.
I did that.
And I already know the answer...
Im going to have to go to work.
I have covered so many people and look where I am.
I am forced to go to work when I barely want to get out of bed.
This isn't healthy.
No one wants an associate to help them when they are sneezing in their god damn face.
And half the people who wont cover me go to church, and that will be their excuse.
God will forgive you for one fucking day.
Just let me fucking sleep and feel better!

Thats fine.
Monday I am going to VCC and I am filling out applications till my head explodes.
Then I am quiting aeropostale.
Those fuckers suck.

6 comments//Prove your love

 [17 May 2005|10:39pm]
Me: dude the doctor made an emergency appointment for me tommorow, tell me thats not comforting!
Thomas: that not comforting
Me: exactly dumb ass :-P

Yep thats right...told the nurse all about my problem and she quickly schedualed me in even though she was really booked. She said she would have schedualed me today but since I wasn't in way too much pain, she would let me in tommorrow. Actually....I really was hurting. And when I laid down it got even worse. Finally I got sick of staying in the house I went out and just took my pain meds with me just incase.

My poor mom had to calm me down, cause I was freaking out crying. See, before my dog died...she had the same symptoms as me, which ment kidney failure and that she was going to die soon cause her body was shutting down. And maybe it sounds dumb...but I was crying thinking I was going to die too. So my mom was trying to comfort me saying "no Sara, you won't die. Kitty (the dog) was old, you're not, so don't freak out. Go watch TV or something..." lol

That's ok...if I die...Thomas can have my car CD player :-D
3 comments//Prove your love

 [17 May 2005|05:35pm]
There is something REALLY wrong with my kidneys..

way to go for not calling the nurse sooner...

dumb ass
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 [16 May 2005|11:36pm]
I am sorry for saying you were actting like an ass.
I guess I am even sorry that I said fuck off.
That's how I felt at the time.
I am sick of you twisting my words around instead of asking me.
I am not sorry for telling you off for that, because you had no right to assume anything.
David did that shit and I will not deal with it from you.
I never said you would cause my heart break...though inadvertantly you have hurt me.
I just said I didn't want to go through heartbreak
meaning I don't want to date ANYONE because any one of them could hurt me, not you specifically
Maybe if you had ASKED instead of ASSUMED you would have gotten that.
And saying I have not given you a chance?
well you can believe that, I could care less.
I know that I have, I am sorry if you don't see it that way.
You're not ok?
well last time i checked it wasnt just about you.
You know, I went to bed without talking to you too.
And if it bothered you that we were fighting online, then you could have picked up the phone.
And you were so offended by me saying you were ACTING like an ass..
I never called you an ass
but you found it necessary to call me an asshole
fine whatever.
so what if I am?
Though I never knew standing up for myself made me an asshole.
I didn't know that trying to stop dealing with the shit that I am being put through made me an asshole.
This was my fault.
I shouldn't have tried.
But I thought I saw something in you
but we argue just like we did before.
And I am getting to tired for that shit.
I dont care if I am running away anymore.
I was brave enough to face it for a couple of days
and that is good enough for me.
Too bad you can't see it that way.
I wont change who I am for you.
I have done nothing wrong except protect my heart.
You think love conquers all and all you need is love..
its bullshit.
love is great
But love didnt stop us from name calling now did it?
love didnt stop us from getting hurt did it?
love didnt stop shit.
I meant what I said when I said I dont want to hear from you again.
I gave you a million chances
and you took them and threw them away
It was my fault for going through the ride you call love.
I call it painful.
Have a nice life
and i hope you find someone who can make you happy.
It just can't be me.
//Prove your love

 [15 May 2005|12:48am]
There you go twisting my words again
That confuses me when you do that...like I actually believe I said it when I know I never did.
You just hurt me.
I gave you a fucking chance and now its over
I was a dumb ass for ever believing we could be friends

I hate this
I hate this more than you could know
You dont know me
I dont know you
And i wanted a friendship
and it went way past that.
You dont know how I feel
You never will
Just like i will never know how you feel
But I dont try and make assumptions thinking I do.
Just leave me alone
I am not going to cry for you like I used to
I wont allow that shit.
Its just another reason why I cant be in a relationship
I keep getting hurt.

"Nothing hurts when noone's real"
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 [08 May 2005|03:16pm]
I'm becoming less to find as days go by
Fading away
Well you might say
I'm loosing focus
Kind adrifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself

Sometimes I think I can see right through myself

Less concerned about fitting into the world
Your world that is
Because it doesn't really matter
(no it doesn't really matter anymore)
None of this really matters anymore

Yes I'm alone but then again I always was
As far back as I can tell
I think maybe it's because you never were really real to begin with
I just made you up to hurt myself
And it worked.
Yes it did!

There is no you
There is only me
There is no you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me


The tiniest little dot caught my eye and it turned out to be scab and I had this funny feeling
Like I just knew it was something bad
I just couldn't leave it alone, picking at that scab
Was a doorway trying to seal itself shut
But I climbed through

Now I am somehwere I am not supposed to be, and I can see things I knew I really Shouldn't see
And now I know why (yea now I know why)
Things aren't as pretty
On the inside
//Prove your love

 [08 May 2005|02:00pm]
ha. ha. ha.
Lets add something to my fucked up life!!
So 2 days ago I was with my friend Kelly studying at the bookstore and I had this sickening feeling like I was going to get sick. So I went to the bathroom just in case that was going to actually happen. Nothing did...and I felt a little bit better. So I went back downstairs and studied a while more then we left. When i got home i took a nap and woke up sweating really bad. My mom came in and checked my temperature and I had a bad fever and my legs were burning up. Plus I had that sick feeling in my stomach. I took another nap and woke up feeling ok.

So yesterday...before all the drama happened...I went to aeropostale. I was trying on some clothes in the fitting room when I got this horrible pain in my left side. It was so bad I had to sit down and take a deep breath. So finally I left the fitting room and I started sweating really bad. Asked my friend Amber if she thought it was hot in there...and her and some nosey coustomer both told me the air conditioner was on and that it was actually really cool. Amber felt my head and said that i was burning up really bad. So I left and went to Patient First thinking it was because of an infection I was getting over.

Well to make a long story I might need to go to a Urologist. They are saying something may be wrong with my kidneys. They said they are doing a culture right now and that I should get the results monday. Until then they gave me same pain pills so I could go to the after part and of course have an even worse night....

*sigh* It never ends....ever...
2 comments//Prove your love

 [08 May 2005|05:17am]
Why do I keep fucking up?
Why am I always being used?
Why do I let people walk all over me and then say "hey, really its ok!" when all I want to say is that they are a fucking jerk?
This happens to me everytime. every fucking time
I cant seem to get it right
I cant seem to get anything right
And I put myself in situations that hurt me
and I fucking stay in them and I dont know why
I did everything he wanted me too...
And then like a fucking pussy I have to nag it out of him
I feel worthless
And i feel like there is no reason to be here
no reason at all cause I just keep fucking up my life
over and over and over and over and over again
He didn't even say he was sorry...
I thought I have been hurt before...
but this hurts so much more
because he used me over and over again
into he didnt need me anymore.

Why even try to be nice
when everyone fucks you in the end?
2 comments//Prove your love

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